Throwing stuff

I became aware of a cat sitting by the pond in our garden. He or she was clearly watching the fish as they went past. I decided that he required moving along, so I hatched a half witted plan. The thing to do was to get some wood from the woodpile and throw it. The thing I forgot was that I am the world's worst thrower of anything.
I should have remembered.... There was a works cricket match. I was persuaded to bowl. I think that everyone was in shock when the first ball became embedded in the pitch two yards in front of where I stood, the next went off to the left, then the right. You see, the middle finger of my right hand has a condition known as trigger finger, basically IT decides when to release the ball....
Then there was the kong tree....the tree next to the footpath where we walk the dogs in which a large number of the 'balls on ropes' hung like unusual fruit. Oh! and that occasion when I threw one of the kongs and it went straight up in the air, an inordinately long distance up I have to say, only for me to be struck dumb as the missile decided it would strike a direct hit in the middle of Tim's bald head.
As the piece of wood left my hand it immediately became apparent that the idea of throwing in the direction of the cat was not about to happen, nor was it going anywhere near the pond. It was however making a bee line for the shed, where it punched a neat hole in the window. The loud bang was enough to attract the attention of the cat, which let out a wail and jumped from his perch. By the time he had 'run' the full length of the pond, he was looking slightly bedraggled and covered in pond yuk and duckweed.
If it was your cat, I am sorry for the state it ended up in, but it did brighten up my day!

Discrimination

Before we start.....I am not racist!
I treat everyone the same until I am in a position to judge them!
This seems a sound and logical approach to me.
But something really wound me up the other day, I was sent a questionnaire by our wonderful health service, this was not about my health!
Question 1 was about my ethnic origin, and just for the record, my skin is a sort of a pinky sick colour with freckles, so I answered that I was white British.
There was no space for pink, pink with freckles, yellow or brown British.

I think we need a rethink. Being British should not depend upon the shade of your skin. Surely it depends on whether you are proud to call yourself British. I think there are probably many people who consider themselves part of this island community who would take this as some sort of a snub that their ethnic origin is more important than the fact that they have adopted Britain as their home.

I think that the questionnaire was probably thought up by some politically correct do-gooder, although it completely escapes me as to what reason the health service needs to know your ancestral past or the particular hue of your skin. I can only presume that this is somehow related to positive discrimination? maybe I wont get my appointment next time because they have already filled the quota of my particular ethnic type.

Positive discrimination is exactly what it says, DISCRIMINATION. It needs to be scrapped, end of!