Thursday 24 October 2013

Funeral Expenses


The bloke from Hatchet Insurance Company rang and asked if I had planned for my funeral. Now, I think that he may have just possibly caught me in a less than pliable mood for talking about insurance to cover me for my final demise, particularly since I was in the process of filling my face with a spectacularly delicious evening meal and I think that I may have been a little short with the guy.
      “Oh yes!” I said, “If I have any sort of notice that my funeral is coming, my plan is to eat plenty of beans, as I fully intend to be as much of a nuisance as I can at the funeral parlour, and if I could possibly manage to fart as I disappeared through the curtains at the crematorium, it would lighten up the proceedings and might just possibly make a few of my mourners smile, they might not mind quite as much after all, that they were having to foot the bill to despatch my remains. And finally, it would be nice to go with a bit of a bang!”
            I thought that it was rather rude that he hung up without uttering a single word of reply.