Scientists have discovered many things about the universe, for example it is travelling sideways very fast. We know this because at one end is the final front ear and at this end there is a back ear. In between there are many light ears which can be seen though a powerful telescope. If it ever hits anything there will be a big bang, luckily, being at the back, we will have time to put our government ear plugs in

Tins

Recycling a few tins..........

Cinema projection room 1960's Leeds. Jim shouts to his assistant Tim, 'Bring me 't tin with Rin Tin Tin in.'Tim returns after long search. 'Rin Tin Tin in't in't tin, Jim''If Rin Tin Tin in't in't tin, Tim, what's in't tin?''TinTin!'.....................​..............................​..............................​..................................​.................'Bugger'

Only in England could we officially declare it a drought on the day we have an inch of rain!

The boss [Mrs] and I have had a heart to heart and there are only two things that are not up to scratch with our marriage.

Everything I say.

Everything I do.

Bummer eh?

Marriage

The boss [Mrs] and I have had a heart to heart and there are only two things that are not up to scratch with our marriage.


Everything I say. Everything I do.


Bummer eh?

Flaming hell.....If petrol gets any more expensive, I won't even be able to afford ten pounds worth!!!

I have just started a new diet....... McVities ginger cake is only 94 calories per slice! I cut a whole cake into 3 lengthways and I can eat 6 cakes a day without worrying. Best diet yet!