Tuesday, 10 January 2012

Flying Saucers

Contrary to popular belief Flying Saucers were invented by the Greeks. After many years of futile experimentation the country has now run out of money completely and no one can afford replacement crockery. Fortunately the concept was adopted by the Chinese, who are currently producing these units in a Plastic material which do not fly anywhere near as well but can often last two to three times as long as the earlier experimental versions.

Wednesday, 5 October 2011

Been learning more about the Universe from the Interweb. Did you know it is full of plug holes. On this side of the plug holes, lots of matter swirls round clockwise and gets sucked in and it comes out the other side as don't matter, [stuff we cant see]. Dont worry though cos on the don't matter side there are plug holes where the stuff at that side swirls round anti-clockwise and comes back out this side as matter. When it comes back out, it forms light ears known as Galaxies. Isnt nature brilliant!

Thursday, 25 August 2011

Scientists have discovered many things about the universe, for example it is travelling sideways very fast. We know this because at one end is the final front ear and at this end there is a back ear. In between there are many light ears which can be seen though a powerful telescope. If it ever hits anything there will be a big bang, luckily, being at the back, we will have time to put our government ear plugs in

Tuesday, 26 July 2011

Tins

Recycling a few tins..........

Cinema projection room 1960's Leeds. Jim shouts to his assistant Tim, 'Bring me 't tin with Rin Tin Tin in.'Tim returns after long search. 'Rin Tin Tin in't in't tin, Jim''If Rin Tin Tin in't in't tin, Tim, what's in't tin?''TinTin!'.....................​..............................​..............................​..................................​.................'Bugger'

Friday, 10 June 2011

Only in England could we officially declare it a drought on the day we have an inch of rain!

Monday, 6 June 2011

The boss [Mrs] and I have had a heart to heart and there are only two things that are not up to scratch with our marriage.

Everything I say.

Everything I do.

Bummer eh?

Monday, 30 May 2011

Marriage

The boss [Mrs] and I have had a heart to heart and there are only two things that are not up to scratch with our marriage.


Everything I say. Everything I do.


Bummer eh?