Another famous saying?

Society expunges individual zeal with an amalgam of banal ennui. 
..........Aaron Chynn

Advent Candle

Ok - who the heck stole our Advent Candle......there we were, watching TV, next thing, someone has snook in while we were snoozing and there is no sign of it!
I shall be making serious enquiries!

Crap

Just nearly went flat on my back in a giant cow pat up the field while walking the dogs. I realised instantly that this is a business opportunity! This stuff is the slippiest stuff known to mankind. It does not melt on a warm day, and only needs water to keep it slippy. Now, if there are two things we have in abundance around here, it is rain and cowshit. I intend to buy the Chevin and cover it with cow crap and open it up as an all weather ski slope. Brilliant eh! Low maintenance or what! How can it fail!

Dodecahedron

A dodecahedron is a large circular tunnel in Switzerland designed to discover the effects of crashing large buses.

The Mini Van

My first car was a Mini.....not the overblown newer 'Mini' but the microscopic Tardis of a car that was originally designed in the late 50's. There is no doubt that this little marvel was way ahead of it's time, but it had foibles. Boy oh boy, did this car have foibles.
I learned very quickly that a necessary tool was a stick about 2 feet long. This was to prod and thump the fuel pump with, to encourage the thing to pump fuel, cleverly this was mounted under the floor of the car in a position where it would receive equal amounts of road spray from the two front wheels.
The doors had a retaining strap, this would prevent the door from being blown against the front wing of the car should it inadvertently be opened in a gale, or whilst reversing at speeds of over forty miles per hour. It was the former that was the demise of the strap on my drivers door, and of the door itself, and the wing suffered a bit as well!
The resulting re-styled door was not a good fit, and the floor well of the mini would fill up with rainwater every time it rained, which is just about all the time round here. The solution was to remove the rubber bungs in the floor to allow the offending liquid out.
The trouble with the clever solution was that when driving through snow and slush the holes became miniature geysers which soaked the driver and passenger alike. Usually when we were suited up and on our way somewhere!

The Rules According to Dog

There is no doubt that dogs are intelligent creatures. But on the other hand, trying to reason with a dog is a bit like typing your life story on a keyboard with only numbers. I know that dogs are extremely intelligent because ours have made up a set of rules for a ball game that is more complex than football.

The rules of the game:

There are three players in the game. The tall one with two legs is the banker. The banker starts the game with two squeaky balls about 5cm in diameter.

There are two four legged players, one is Brown and one is Black.

The Black player is faster than the Brown player, but has no sense of smell. [in fact not much sense of any sort].

The turn starts when the banker squeaks a ball to get the attention of the other two players.

The ball is then thrown.

The Brown and Black players chase the ball.

If the ball lands in plain sight the Black player will get it and bring it back to the banker. A squeak of the second ball is the cue for Black to drop the ball at the bankers feet. This is a win for Black.

If the ball lands out of sight the Black player will give up first. The Brown player will search for the ball and bring it back to the banker. A squeak of the second ball is the cue for Brown to drop the ball at the bankers feet. At this point the Black player will rush to get the ball and take it back to where it was thrown, before returning it back to the banker. This is a win for Brown.

The turn does not finish until the Black player has returned the ball to the banker.

The game ends when one of the balls is lost.

BBC and the Met office

I understand there has been a falling out between the Met Office and the BBC. The attached might help if a new weather map is required, a thoughtful cow left it in the field nearby. Personally I think the accuracy stinks a bit, but it may be perfect for crap weather.