Dodecahedron

A dodecahedron is a large circular tunnel in Switzerland designed to discover the effects of crashing large buses.

The Mini Van

My first car was a Mini.....not the overblown newer 'Mini' but the microscopic Tardis of a car that was originally designed in the late 50's. There is no doubt that this little marvel was way ahead of it's time, but it had foibles. Boy oh boy, did this car have foibles.
I learned very quickly that a necessary tool was a stick about 2 feet long. This was to prod and thump the fuel pump with, to encourage the thing to pump fuel, cleverly this was mounted under the floor of the car in a position where it would receive equal amounts of road spray from the two front wheels.
The doors had a retaining strap, this would prevent the door from being blown against the front wing of the car should it inadvertently be opened in a gale, or whilst reversing at speeds of over forty miles per hour. It was the former that was the demise of the strap on my drivers door, and of the door itself, and the wing suffered a bit as well!
The resulting re-styled door was not a good fit, and the floor well of the mini would fill up with rainwater every time it rained, which is just about all the time round here. The solution was to remove the rubber bungs in the floor to allow the offending liquid out.
The trouble with the clever solution was that when driving through snow and slush the holes became miniature geysers which soaked the driver and passenger alike. Usually when we were suited up and on our way somewhere!

The Rules According to Dog

There is no doubt that dogs are intelligent creatures. But on the other hand, trying to reason with a dog is a bit like typing your life story on a keyboard with only numbers. I know that dogs are extremely intelligent because ours have made up a set of rules for a ball game that is more complex than football.

The rules of the game:

There are three players in the game. The tall one with two legs is the banker. The banker starts the game with two squeaky balls about 5cm in diameter.

There are two four legged players, one is Brown and one is Black.

The Black player is faster than the Brown player, but has no sense of smell. [in fact not much sense of any sort].

The turn starts when the banker squeaks a ball to get the attention of the other two players.

The ball is then thrown.

The Brown and Black players chase the ball.

If the ball lands in plain sight the Black player will get it and bring it back to the banker. A squeak of the second ball is the cue for Black to drop the ball at the bankers feet. This is a win for Black.

If the ball lands out of sight the Black player will give up first. The Brown player will search for the ball and bring it back to the banker. A squeak of the second ball is the cue for Brown to drop the ball at the bankers feet. At this point the Black player will rush to get the ball and take it back to where it was thrown, before returning it back to the banker. This is a win for Brown.

The turn does not finish until the Black player has returned the ball to the banker.

The game ends when one of the balls is lost.

BBC and the Met office

I understand there has been a falling out between the Met Office and the BBC. The attached might help if a new weather map is required, a thoughtful cow left it in the field nearby. Personally I think the accuracy stinks a bit, but it may be perfect for crap weather.

Scary thing

I went for a 'tune up' of my pacemaker. This is painless, it just involves placing a pad on my chest and plugging into a computer, they can tell how often it has kicked in and at what time of day [or night]. I suspect that this is near field communication. Clever thing is....It now looks for a gap of more than 1.1 seconds between heartbeats during the day and 1.3 at night before it gives me a pulse, I did ask if it automatically changed time zones if I went abroad, but alas that one is still to come.
I was asked to read a sheet of paper, this turned out to be a donor certificate, happily I signed, of course I would want to give someone else a chance to live if I no longer needed the device, I suppose 'no longer needing it' means 'after you are dead' so it is just like being an organ donor.

Or is it!

As I handed the bit of paper back I asked about battery life, these things are good for ten years apparently. This started a little calculator going in my head. No one would want a second hand unit that had less than 5 years life in it , would they? This puts a very finite figure to 'when I no longer need it'. I think I will try and make sure no one inherits this particular cast off.

More Hints on Driving

Sorry about this, but there is something that sets little pictures running in my mind when I read this stuff....

More from 1913....'Hints on driving'

The following are good general rules for traffic:-
1. Observe the usual road rules and sound your horn if passing or overtaking another vehicle.
2. Be careful when passing a tram; passengers therein have an awkward habit of alighting and passing around the back.
3. Don't follow a tram too closely; their brakes are stronger than yours.
4. Beware of dogs; motoring is past their ken in the scheme of life.
5. Always give cyclists plenty of room; some are nervous.
6. Be careful and slow down at cross roads.
7. Turn into a road, or go around a corner, at slow speed, and on your right side.
8. If there be an opening and you must get through, dont hesitate, especially with trams.

I suppose we aught to make allowances, in those days if you had a car, you were a toff and the streets were full of annoying plebs who didn't have their own transport.

PS this is absolutely genuine!

Hints On Driving 1913!

Back in 1913, driving tests were not even thought about. Still you could find useful instruction on how to go on from useful chapters such as this from the Motor Mechanics Handbook.............

For Open Country:
1. Take corners on your right side, and slowly.
2. Don't tear downhill; a herd of cattle may be at the point of crossing at the bottom.
3. If you meet grease in the guttering, don't suddenly turn out, you may turn over or break a wheel; take it gently.
4. Observe all road signs.
5. Remember, it is you, as a motorist, who must observe the rule of the road; others may if they like.
6. If the roads are narrow and winding and the hedges high, special caution is necessary.
7. Slow down for cattle and sheep; fowls can generally take care of themselves.
8. Give led or ridden horses a wide berth; they sometimes turn round to see who is coming, or going.
9. Never drive in the dark on open roads by guiding yourself by the telegraph poles; sometimes these cross over and the road does not.
10. If there be dust ahead, go slowly; troops of sheep often give a misleading indication of a fast car ahead.
11. Don't pass another car unless the road is well clear ahead.
12. If there be mist, tie a lamp to you running board, and drive from the hedge or kerb, going dead slow.
13. If you skid, release your brake and re-apply. If your front wheels skid there is no remedy.
14. If a smash is inevitable take out your clutch and duck your head.
15. Never let a hare or rabbit detract your attention from the road.

I have given No.9 a great deal of thought and my head is in danger of exploding!
Hint No.12 may be useful on the M11 on a misty evening at rush hour.

EEEEE, them were the days!